A few years ago, a sprightly rumor made its way around the auto show circuit and through the rank and file of the automotive press: The GTO may return!
And there was much rejoicing…yay.
Until, that is, the public got its first look and screamed to the tops of the highest mountains that this WAS NOT a GTO. No, it was just another bland Pontiac styling exercise, albeit, without the body cladding that made recent Pontiacs the butt of a few styling ha-has.
Since I was born just before the demise of the Muscle Car era, and weaned on the overboard 80s style of design, I find the new GTO an elegant, understated and compelling creature.
The nose is definitely Pontiac, with the familiar dual snout found on everything from the Grand Am to the Bonneville. The headlights seem to sweep out from there, making an almost hawk-like front fascia that seems to hint at what lies beneath.
In profile, the lines are clean from nose to tail and the sounds emanating from the engine bay and especially the tailpipe give you the impression that this car really means business.
The rear, on the other hand, is unlike any other Pontiac. It's bulbous, but serves a greater purpose with the standard wing spoiler, making the car even more wedgier than a Grand Am.
The truly funny thing is this car is Australian-made, based on the popular Holden Monaro; Holden being GM's Australian subsidiary.
As I stated earlier, I grew up in the 80s, where we had "performance coupes" like the Thunderbird TurboCoupe and Dodge Shelby Chargers. The new GTO, then, is a truly modern take on the classic muscle car. Except that it's not based on a sedan but designed as a coupe and made for hard running.
As in the past, the automakers run at their own speed and make the rules as they go. For a muscle car to work today, global sources need to be used because our economy and culture is much more global than it was 40 years ago.
To that end, I say the GTO's styling is right on target. It's on the "bland" side but just enough to keep Smokey off your back. Once you get around the copper, punch the gas and see what this car is really about.
The funny thing about the "performance coupes" of the 80s was that the performance came more from looking fast than ever really going fast. Not so with newer cars, especially ones fitted with Corvette engines.
That's right kids; the GTO has a 5.7-liter, tried-and-true, pushrod-pumpin', gas guzzlin' beast of a motor rated at 340 horsepower and 360 lb.-ft. of pavement-ripping torque. (The $1000 gas guzzler tax is proof that it's a thirsty beast.)
Couple that "rad" engine with a four-speed automatic, four-wheel independent suspension, disc brakes at each corner and 17-inch P245/45 tires and it all starts making sense.
Take a corner in this beast and you can almost hear it laughing, goading you into pushing harder and faster through the twisties like no other Pontiac had the cajones to do in recent memory.
We're thirty years down the road from the end of the Muscle era and, if they would have never died off, this is what they would be today; nothing more than a basic car with a touch of attitude on the outside and a monster motor to get the blood pumping.
"The styling is bland." "It's not like the original." "At least there's no cladding."
These words were overheard in a parking lot where we stopped for some groceries and loitered trying to gauge reactions on the newly minted Pontiac GTO.
All I can say is…get over it. This new GTO is killer in all the right ways, but no so great in tertiary ways.
Getting into the backseat was definitely a chore. The GTO is a strong candidate for the "quad coupe" treatment Saturn has bestowed upon its Ion.
Luckily, the back seat is quite comfy once you get back there. The seats are bolstered just like the fronts; making this a true four-seater…not that anyone would really be able to ride on the hump anyways.
Then there's the missing features: OnStar, XM, heated seats, Sunroof, no inside trunk release...You get the drift.
And, hopefully, you won't want to go on that weeklong driving adventure because the trunk is majorly slighted because of the suspension taking most of it. (No one over said fun cars had to be practical too!)
One last gripe we found while picking up the dry cleaning: No garment hooks at all. Either the Australians don't have their fine clothes dry-cleaned or the hooks got lost somewhere in the translation.
On the flip side, the Goat is one on the most solid GM vehicles we've driven, ever. If the now-gone Camaro and Firebird had build quality, awesome sightlines (except, of course, over the shoulder into the HUGE C-pillars) and great ride control like this, they would surely still be alive and well today fending off that new Mustang at every corner.
The nitty-gritty on the GTO is this: For less than 34 big ones, excluding tax, title and license, you can own a piece of new American history, albeit built in Australia.
Firebird
is dead…long live the Goat.